This page is dedicated to jokes about that email you love to hate, spam! (Lower case letters intentional... SPAM™ is a Hormel product.)

Know a light-hearted spam joke that isn't here? Send it to me!

• Short Jokes
• Specific Spammer Jokes
• You Know you're a Spammer jokes
• Other Jokes

Short Jokes

• How many spammers does it take to change a lightbulb?
• They can't. They all expect it to remove itself.
• None. You opted in to the dark on one of our partner's web sites.
  
• Q: What do you do if a spammer throws a pin at you?
  A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
  
• Q: How do spammers teach their kids which way to put their underwear on?
  A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
  
• Q: What do you call a spammer wearing a suit and tie?
  A: The Defendant.
  
• Q: How do you get a spammer out of a tree?
  A: Cut the rope.
  
• Did you hear about the latest spamvertised invention? It's a solar-powered flashlight.
  
• Following the assault of a young woman, the police rounded up the usual suspects for a lineup; suddenly, the spammer stepped forward and screamed "That's her!!"
  
• What are the two biggest spammer lies?
  The check's in your mouth, and I won't come in the mail.
  
• When a spammer gets divorced are they still legally brother and sister?

Specific Spammer Jokes

Ronnie Scleson

• Did you hear Ronnie Scleson locked his keys in his car? He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.
  
• Ronnie Scleson bought a brand new corvette. He drives around all the time waving at his fellow rednecks. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and Ronnie is smiling. They hit the car some more, and he is laughing.
  They walk over to him and ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your
  car."
  Ronnie says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."
  

You Know You're a Spammer...

• When your house still has the "Wide Load" sign on the back.
• if you hooked up with your present wife as a result of a message on the wall of the men's room at the truck stop.
• you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
• you think there's nothing wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
• you think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Boca Raton, Florida.
• your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.
• your kids take a gas siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
• you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
• you think a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack.
• you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

Other


• A spammer has an audience with the Pope and, not quite knowing what to say tries to break the ice with a joke...
  "Have you heard the one about the two Polish priests, Holy Father?"
  "But I _am_ Polish, my son."
  There followed a pregnant pause while the spammer thought quickly ...
  "That's OK, Holy Father, I'll tell you it slowly."
  
• A spammer goes to a whore house. The Madam is out of women but, since she knows the guy is a spammer she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference. Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. The spammer comes out in five minutes. "How was it?", says the Madam.
  "I don't know," says the spammer, "I bit her on the ass and she farted and flew out the window!"

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